i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
