I just saw a hot homeless man
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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