You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize