You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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