I only kidnapped one of them. chill
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
