Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
