bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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