even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
