New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
