Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
