Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize