How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
i think my cat just said my name.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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