She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
