3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
my liver is dry heaving
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
