WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
