McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
