Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize