He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
