OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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