i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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