..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
