So drunk its hurt
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
