the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
