that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
