Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize