every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
