Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
