i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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