Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
