Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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