I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
