i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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