Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
