Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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