I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
