Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
