just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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