Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
