STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize