I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
