Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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