Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
