so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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