Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize