went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
