I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
