so explain again why im purple
no
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
