Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
