i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
