If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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