Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
