Whod you bang
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
