I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
