Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
