her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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