i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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