why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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