You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
