I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
